I know it’s up to me to decide if I find them attractive and move ahead, but I guess I want someone to tell me that it’s possible that I’m a nincompoop here and that straight men can “sound gay.” Here are my specific fears-that one or both of these men are in denial about their gender preferences OR that I’m passing up on some fantastic men because they are indeed straight. I can’t even tell if I sound homophobic here, but is it homophobic to be a straight woman and not want to date a gay man? See? My brain is a mess. I am not proud of my response, which is to not want to go out with them again. This is kind of a libido killer for me, and it makes my brain spin. I have met two men who would like to date me, and they both are great! And, they both sound completely gay-like, out-of-the-closet, effeminate-speech gay. I recently started dating again and have just recently been confronted by a situation that’s left me scratching my head. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. I Just Want Her to Change One Part of Her Body.
